why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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