I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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