You're completely useless in the revolution.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
