that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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