we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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