I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
