i jhust puked up my retainher.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
