Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
