i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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