I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just blew my weed a kiss
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