He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
