just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
