Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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