my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
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