We're facebook friends in real life
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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