brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
literally had 100 drinks last night.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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