More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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