I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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