im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
