operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
