you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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