Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
zippers are such a cool invention
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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