i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
