Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
