I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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