porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
