i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
