I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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