is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need water and some morals
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
