I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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