So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
