Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
