sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
