Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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