ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
