Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
