I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
