you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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