The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
