I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
