I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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