..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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