im holly from the hills drunk
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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