so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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