She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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