I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
