i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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