Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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