your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I accidentally had phone sex last night
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
