DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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