"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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