So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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